You’ve just landed in the Great White North, ready to embrace the Canadian adventure. But amidst the excitement, there’s the reality of a long-distance relationship or marriage with your significant other. If this is you, do not be perplexed! In this article, you will learn how to keep your love alive across the miles as we will be showing you how you can manage your long distance marriage or relationship when you get to Canada.
What is a Long Distance Relationship?
A long distance relationship or marriage is when two people who are involved in a romantic relationship are living far apart. They can not see each other in person as much as they would like, making it harder for them to talk face-to-face or be physically close. Despite the distance, these relationships work through strong feelings, trust, love, and regular communication using phones or computers. Even though some might think not many people have long-distance relationships, studies show that quite a few, around 25% to 50%, of college students have experienced or are currently in one. Making a long-distance relationship or marriage succeed requires effort and commitment from both partners. Long Distance Relationships also known as LDR often rely on a strong emotional foundation laid by both parties.
Pros of Long Distance Relationship or Marriage
1. Explore Beyond Physical Chemistry
Unlike relationships driven solely by physical attraction that may fizzle out due to incompatible personalities, long-distance love can be beneficial. You have extended periods of getting to know each other through Skype, texts, emails, and social media and so the foundation of your connection becomes rooted in communication. While there’s a slight risk that physical chemistry may not align upon meeting each other again, never underestimate the important role communication plays in the strength of a relationship.
2. Easier with Technology
Gone are the days of relying solely on written letters for distant romances. With the evolution of technology, communication has become more personal and immediate through real-time video and audio calls. Beyond that, the convenience of texting, emails, and social media ensures you’re always connected, removing any sense of disconnection. Additionally, sharing experiences online, like watching movies or playing games together, further enriches your connection in this digital age.
3. Healthy Time Apart
Taking breaks from each other adds freshness to online conversations, making them more special. It intensifies the time you spend together. This separation also provides moments for personal reflection and pursuing your interests. It’s about learning to be interdependent, enjoying time together while appreciating your individual “me time” too.
4. Always Anticipating the Best
Having someone special to talk to daily or on weekends feels amazing. It becomes a source of motivation during challenging work schedules and life’s hurdles. The magic of Skype or FaceTime conversations, emails, and messages becomes extra special when you’re physically apart. Planning trips to meet in person adds a delightful sense of anticipation, almost as joyful as the actual meeting itself.
5. Strength in Distance Tested
While long-distance relationships come with unique challenges not present in regular in-person interactions, overcoming these hurdles can actually strengthen your bond. It might seem like this does not make sense, but many attest that if your romance can withstand the distance, it can endure any challenge that comes its way.
6. Spicing Up Connection
Long-distance relationships add a dash of excitement by making the moments you share more intense and valuable due to limited time. There’s less room for getting bored, as meeting constantly is not part of the routine. Time spent apart ensures you both have new things to bring to conversations, making them more interesting. When you finally meet in person, it tends to be more thrilling than a typical date.
Cons of Long Distance Relationship or Marriage
1. Problem of Communication
In long-distance relationships, good communication is key. When communication fails, your relationship feels the strain. A one-sided communication approach can even break the connection. To keep the relationship strong, ensure a two-way communication process. It’s the foundation that keeps the bond intact and thriving.
2. Distance may Drive you Apart
Long-distance relationships come with the challenge of creating a gap in your connection. Excessive texting or Skype calls can lead to boredom, and effective communication becomes a challenge due to different time zones. Scheduled calls might be missed, causing frustration and a gradual loss of interest. In the absence of frequent meetings, there’s a risk of taking each other for granted, and the initial love can fade into the background. The absence of physical intimacy further strains the relationship, especially during moments of illness or celebration when you long for your partner’s presence. The distance becomes a challenge tearing at the fabric of your connection.
3. Trust Issues
Betrayal is a serious problem in long-distance relationships. With limited knowledge of your partner’s activities, communication hits an all-time low, leading to a loss of interest. The discovery of newfound relationships can shatter the trust you’ve built. It becomes painful when you’re invested in keeping the relationship alive, yet your partner seems indifferent to their part in maintaining trust. The core of your connection is wounded as you deal with the consequences of broken trust.
4. Loneliness
Long-distance relationships often come with a sense of loneliness. Extended periods without seeing each other can breed insecurity, leaving you longing for your partner to share life’s ups and downs. The absence of your partner when you return from college or work leaves a void, and you yearn for companionship – a walk, a meal together. The challenges of frequent travel are compounded by the expensive costs and time involved, making it difficult for you or your partner to bridge the physical gap regularly.
5. Fear
The fear of losing your partner casts a shadow over long-distance relationships. Limited communication and frequent misunderstandings contribute to this anxiety. Seeing your partner’s social media posts with others intensifies feelings of misery. Being in such a relationship leaves you feeling insecure, frustrated, and incomplete. Emotionally, the toll of a long-distance relationship often outweighs the benefits, causing more harm than even remaining single.
6. No More Interests
In long-distance relationships, gradual problems can occur when there’s a lack of topics to discuss. The waiting game begins, with each partner hoping the other will initiate conversation. The relationship loses its spark and the romantic talks of the past fade away. Continuing conversations becomes challenging, lacking depth and the emotional expression that once defined your connection. This shift often indicates a waning interest in sustaining the long-distance relationship.
How to Manage Long Distance Marriage or Relationship when you get to Canada.
1. Talk about Everything and Anything
Have discussions about your commitment levels and expectations in the long-distance relationship. Engage in thorough conversations about your desires and goals. Avoid assumptions and vocalize your thoughts. Bear in mind that regular communication is important for long-distance couples. If you are lost on ideas to talk about in your relationship, here are a few topics that may spark the fire of your love despite the distance:
- Share your day-to-day experiences, even the small details. It helps in feeling connected to each other’s lives.
- Discuss your long-term goals as a couple, including plans for eventually ending the distance.
- Talk about your emotions, both positive and negative. Share your joys, fears, and concerns openly.
- Establish how often you’ll communicate and through which channels. Agree on a schedule that suits both of you.
- Share your hobbies and interests, and explore new activities you can enjoy together despite the physical distance.
- Plan surprises or send thoughtful gifts to keep the romance alive.
- Discuss any concerns or insecurities that may arise due to the distance and reassure each other of your commitment.
- Plan future visits and discuss the excitement and logistics of spending time together in person.
- Establish healthy ways to address conflicts or misunderstandings that may arise.
- Explore ways to leverage technology for shared activities, such as watching movies together or playing online games.
- Address how attractions to others will be managed and define your expectations for your sex life.
- Plan strategies for handling the inevitable loneliness that accompanies distance.
- Discuss boundaries concerning time spent alone with co-workers of the opposite sex.
Remember, communication is the lifeline of a long-distance relationship, so keep the conversation flowing to maintain a strong connection.
2. Fight Jealousy
In a long-distance relationship, steer clear of jealousy by building trust. It’s common for thoughts about your partner to race when you’re apart. Instead of letting jealous questions invade your relationship, find ways to calm your mind and stay fully engaged in the present moment. When things are going well, talk openly about any concerns you may have. Recognize that long-distance relationships are tough for most people, and it’s okay to discuss the challenges you’re facing. The key is to foster trust, keep jealousy in check, and communicate openly, especially when you’re feeling positive about the relationship.
3. Daily Check-Ins for Connection
Make it a daily habit to connect and share with each other. Reserve a dedicated time, preferably at the end of each day, for a 30-minute catch-up session. This routine helps build your “love map,” deepening your understanding of your partner and staying connected to their daily experiences. Prioritize this time to ensure you’re on the same page and foster a strong connection as you grow together.
4. Use Technology
Make the most of technology in your long-distance relationship. Send thoughtful texts throughout the day to let your partner know they’re on your mind. Make use of Skype or FaceTime for video calls to add a visual connection. If you’re on Facebook or other social media platforms, share pictures of shared moments, creating a digital memory lane to reminisce and strengthen your connection with the people in your lives. Embracing technology enhances communication and keeps the bond alive.
5. Talk about the Future
Engage in conversations about your future as a couple. Plan vacations, holidays, and weekends together. Discuss personal goals and, if applicable, shared goals for your future as a couple. Ensure these discussions align with both partners’ timelines and comfort levels, especially when it comes to commitments like marriage. Plan and look forward to the times when you’ll be together physically in the future, fostering excitement and anticipation.
6. Share your Struggles
Share your struggles with being apart openly and honestly, but also ensure your partner doesn’t feel guilty about the separation. While it’s essential to discuss these challenges, make them only a small part of your conversations. Don’t hesitate to express your concerns and feelings about the distance, treating it like addressing an “elephant in the living room.” Your partner may interpret it as another way of saying “I love you” or an invitation to problem-solve together. However, avoid letting these concerns dominate your discussions. Unless there’s a possibility for change, you don’t want the separation to overshadow the love you share.
What Kills Long Distance Relationships or Marriage?
1. Insecurities
We all have insecurities, but it’s crucial to express them in a healthy way. If insecurities about the distance linger, communicate them calmly to avoid passive-aggressive issues. Communicate your worries to your partner, seeking reassurance respectfully. Trust is vital, especially in long-distance relationships, so give it and ask for it in return. Failure to address insecurities can quickly turn a relationship sour.
2. Cheating
Cheating is a deal-breaker, especially in long-distance relationships, where couples face heightened struggles. The distance introduces challenges, making it harder to resist temptations. It’s important to be honest with yourself about your needs and feelings. If the relationship no longer serves you, it’s better to end it rather than risk infidelity and hurting your partner. Being aware of your own emotions and addressing them honestly can prevent such betrayals and contribute to a healthier relationship.
3. Boredom
During periods of separation, couples often unintentionally drift apart, finding joy in various aspects of life outside the relationship. The physical distance may lead to seeking happiness elsewhere, potentially causing strain when partners start forgetting each other. Rather than allowing this drift, continue enjoying individual hobbies but include your partner in those moments. Reignite shared activities that were once fun for both of you, preserving the spark of your relationship despite the distance. Keep the connection alive by actively incorporating your partner into your sources of joy.
4. Unhappiness
Unhappiness can cast a shadow on a long-distance relationship. If you’re feeling sad, it’s essential to focus on yourself and address the root cause of your emotions. While reaching out to your partner for support is okay, if they contribute to your sadness, maintaining a long-distance relationship becomes challenging. Honest self-reflection and open communication are important to navigating through these emotions and deciding on the best course for your well-being and the relationship.
5. Lack of Communication
Consistent communication is the backbone of relationships, particularly long-distance ones. It serves as the glue that keeps you connected and sustains the relationship over time. Inconsistent communication is a silent killer that can lead to the gradual breakdown of long-distance relationships if not addressed. The problem sets in when couples start engaging with others more than each other. Regardless of the distance, a simple message or a quick call can reassure your partner and prevent the relationship from crumbling. Regular and meaningful communication is the lifeline that helps relationships thrive, even across long distances.
Conclusion
Long distance relationships or marriages are not easy to deal with. If you are in Canada and you are in such a connection, you might feel frustrated if you or your partner fails to put in the work because such relationships require work. However, in this article, we have shown you all you need to know to keep your relationship and avoid the pitfalls that may ruin your relationship or marriage while in Canada.